There are times we must speak and tread softly, and I am a big believer in being non-confrontational most of the time.  But what I find is that some people are so concerned with being non-confrontational that they lose their assertiveness.  That is not so good for their self-esteem, or their relationships with co-workers, family and friends.  Often times it invites others to treat you like a doormat.  Please don’t get in the habit of avoiding all conflict just for the sake of ‘avoiding conflict’.  We sometimes need to be assertive, without being aggressive.

Here is a sample of what I teach to help my clients, folks just like you I imagine, communicate with confidence.

Even though approx. only 7% of our communication is verbal, which is our word choice, phrases and expressions used, we still need to acknowledge the impact of what we say on others.  Often times it is all in the start of the sentence or question.

A confident person knows when he or she is good at something, and trusts themselves at all times.  They know that the words they say come from and continue to affect their belief system.  Not cocky, not meek, a confident person simply states the truth without any attitude in their voice or body language.

Here are some examples for you to try.  Finish these sentences any way you like, but with confidence!  (Hint:  Use common phrases from everyday work or social situations.)

I am…
I will…
I trust that…
I can…
I’m able to…
Yes, that’s correct.  I am…
You can trust me because…

Now write out some good sentences that might come in handy at work or in any other life situation you see fit.  Be prepared to use these confident sentences, but remember – no need to raise your voice or get aggressive in any way.  You simply state clearly and calmly, but firmly, your intention or remark – Just like a “Vulcan” (That’s for us Star Trek fans!).

Good luck!